from fat to thin

Saturday, 5 November 2011

Life is so difficult

I'm trying to understand the curse of my osteoarthritis. I just seem to just get my head round it all, sort out the pain and try to move forward with my life when find myself back at where i started, in pain, feeling sick and unable to function on a day to day function. 

So it was back to the doctor's i had to go in the hope that they could help. I now have pain in all the joints of my body, some more painful then another, at different times and even on different days. the doctor said it is all arthritis. He kindly told me that when you damage one joint it puts more stress on the remaining joints causing damage there too, the cure exercise and more pain relief. 

Then yesterday i was supposed to go into work and have a trial day, working in another area but it was no good. The pain was too great the job too unacceptable but the staff very nice and helpful. So it's back to the drawing board with work and i have to wait until whenever they can sort out a job i can do, it may take several months they have warned me.

I suddenly feel very old. May be i could be the Old Maid in the game and who ever gets me, loses. I'm only joking. I may feel like an old maid but i don't feel like i've lost. I'm just waiting for God to reveal his plan because i am totally and completely at a loss. I know works needs faith and faith needs work and i'm trying to do whatever i can and i know when i get to that point i will know in my heart what i am doing is part of God's plan.

Back to the osteoarthritis. I think the problem is this - normal joints can crack, mine cannot and so it gets stuck, even though i can sort of walk on it, it becomes increasingly more painful. Finally, yesterday, my knee unlocked and i was released from the pain. When it finally gave way the initial pain would have had me on my knees but thankfully i had the arm of a friend to hang on to. He asked what was happening and i tried to explain, in the end i just said pain, pain, pain. 

I hobbled home, went to bed and except for the brief trips to the ajoining bathroom i didn't get up again until this morning. This morning i was assesing the pain, what hurt, what didn't, i came up with left hip, knee, ankle, right ankle, left wrist and right shoulder, pain score without pain killers about 5/10.

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