from fat to thin

Friday, 29 July 2011


Shopping is such a chore when you have to walk on crutches all the time and the ability to carry even a small bag is difficult and it interfers with the walking. So today i managed to get my daughter Emily to come shopping with me. I needed to get a birthday present and some new jeans. It was hard work and took forever but was done in the end.

However last night i did some online retail therapy. Check what was out there and what a women of 48 should be wearing or not as the case may be. So this is what i found.

  • A woman over 40 shouldn't wear a mini, no matter how good your legs are, skirts should be no more then an inch above your knee.
  • You shouldn't show your middle, it's not the done thing no matter how toned it is.
  • so add to that no low rise jeans (not comfortable anyway) boob tubes, skinny rib tops that are too short.
  • no jeggings - no idea why anyone would want to wear them anyway
  • no leggings unless you are wearing them under a long tunic or a dress
  • no skinny jeans they only look good on the young
  • buy/wear the right size no matter what
  • leave the flowery curly wurly hair accesories for your kids to wear
  • the same goes for bright odd coloured nail polish - my daughter had bright green on today or was it aqua blue. I don't but it was the same colour as her cardiagan. stick to the pinks, browns, corals, etc.
  • wear proper fitting underwear
  • no t-shirts with odd slogans, odd writing or even odder prints
  • no shorts unless you are going to the beach or the back garden
  • wear the right jewellery, not the kind where someone walking past you goes 'oh there goes a necklace or ear rings.'
  • have your hair cut and styled regularly
 But on the whole I had a good day out.

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

There you are

 Oh! There you are! 

I don't remember you looking like - that.

Are you sure it's you?

Or maybe it's your Mother?

Where did those lines comes from, laughter they say or that streak of white in your hair?

Yes those eyes look right, they look like mine and behind those streaks of grey there is still lots of red hair. Now my Mother doesn't have red hair but just for a moment has i passed the bathroom mirror i thought i saw my Mother. 

Whenever my Mother sees a photograph of herself these days, she always remarks 'yep, that's me'.

We often judge ourselves by what man sees and not by what God sees (Sam 16:7). The worth of a soul is so great that He calls us his sons and his daughters. No matter who we are or what we look like God loves us as we are and when you are feeling low repeat the following 'God loves me'. Keep repeating it until you feel it in your heart for God does love you.

Monday, 25 July 2011

Belief - Jesus the very thought of thee ...

Just before someone says it's not Easter, I know!

However yesterday i taught the last of three Sunday school lessons on the Atonement, Crucifixion and the Resurection of Jesus Christ. 

I have come to the following conclusions; The Atonement is for everyone, we will all be forgiven if we repent, we will all be resurection, the good and the bad, and the Atonement is for us today.

The Crucifixion was for those stood watching. It was to prove to them that He was mortal and could die to the body. Until the morning of the third His mother Mary, his family and his friends mourned and wept because even though they had been taught they didn't really understand.

Then on the morning of the third day Mary Magdalene comes to His tomb and is frightened by the fact that He is not there. And the Resurection to Eternal life and Exaltation is for all those who believe.

'Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou?
whom seeketh thou? 
She, supposing him to be the gardener, saith unto him,
Sir if thou have borne him hence,
tell me where thou hast laid him, 
and I will take him away.
Jesus saith unto her, Mary. 
She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; 
which to say, Master.' 
(John 19:11-17)

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Live you life with arms wide open ...

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten 
(Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield)

That's the chorus or is it known as a refrain? I'm never entirely sure but it matters not the message is the same.

How many times do we wait for someone to make our lives worthwhile? when really we should be living life with our arms wide open.

I'm sure there as been a time when you were out for a summer stroll when the skies have opened and the rain drops have descended and instead of running for shelter you really, really wanted to dance in the rain. The song tells us to feel the rain on our skin, no one can feel is for us - and it's true. No, no one can feel the same raindrop you are feeling. Once it drops its has fulfilled the measure of its creation and its work is done. 

So if we think just about water, what does it do? It gives life,to  plants, trees, people, the earth. Without it we would not survive. Without the rains of life we would not live. We may survive but without the rains of life we would never fully understand all that God can bless us with, but we need to open up and let it in and live a life that is yet unwritten.

I've been pondering two (of many) things this week; what would i do if i could not fail? and what inspires me? 

A little list of Inspiration ~

- The beloved Queen Elizabeth II pausing, head bent after she laid a wreath at a war memorial
- The Dalai Llama praying before he tasted the food after he was asked to judge the Australian masterchef.
- Mary Magdalene, Mary Christ's mother and the other women who wept at His cross
- My sister Julie and her daughter Charlotte

What would i do if i couldn't fail? ~ write a book and lose weight

What inspired you this week? What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Friday, 22 July 2011


I always seem to be writing my blog one day behind because i like to write in the mornings and on the days when i just don't have the time, then by the end of the day my brain is too tired and world wearly to come up with anything worth writing. Maybe i don't write anything worth writing anyway? Never mind, it's not about other people it's about me.

I've just been reading my daughter Grace's blog from yesterday and she was rambling along as usual but come next Saturday she is becoming independent and moving out for good, after spending a year at home recovering after finishing university. I've been told it 'nice' when they do that - at last. Not sure what's nice about it but i will let you know. Probably won't even notice for a while as i have four more young people staying at my house. The two daughter's will go off to university in September and the son and his lovely girlfriend will find jobs and somewhere to live by then too, i keep praying for it. Then my nest will truely be empty, that will be odd.

Tired today, more like world-weary. Just too many things to work through and to sort out. Grace also blogged about food and money, those things just keep coming up and i must admit im in the same place. Those thoughts just keep going round and round. Just imaging not needing either what a different life we would lead. Often we want more then we need, the fact that there is more of me then there should be proves that i want far more food than is good for me. 

Every morning i sit and read God's word and i am fed and yet every day i walk through a world that is starving and God-weary. If each person followed just the first two commandments; love God and love they neighbour has thyself, what a different world it would be. Can you imaging no more dissentions, no more hunger, no more war. If you pray, pray for these two things, I pray that you will live these two commandments today, tomorrow and always.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Not Good Enough

Why do we blog? 

For money ...
We want the 'gold star' ...
We want to be famous...
We want to be noticed...

I have come across many blogs, some good, some inspiring and some just bizarre, some short, some long, some toooo long and boring. I tried to write a blog like everyone else's but then i would find yet another different type of blog and i wanted to be like them. I tried to combine different ideas into one blog but that didn't work either. 

Or do we blog because we know we have something to say?

I did make the goal to blog every day but that kinda got lost in life and i was trying too hard to say what i really felt in my heart beacuse i wanted to fit in, be part of the crowd but really, really i'm not like anyone else even if my children liken me unto their Aunt Carole. We don't even look alike but okay we do sound alike.

Often when we compare ourselves to the others we don't feel good enough, but what is 'good enough'? who are we 'good enough' for? 

Yesterday i had to go into work to see my boss because i am now classed long-term sick and she gave me 'the talk' about how i would lose my job if i didn't come back to work'. I came away feeling not good enough, even though i can't change my situation, a damaged knee that there isn't a quick fix for, is a damaged knee - i also walk on crutches, nursing on crutches would be interesting.

Then a came home to problems and again i felt not good enough. In the muddle of busy-ness in the house i made food for those who wanted it, then i took myself to my room and shut the door. The universal signal in this house that says 'leave me alone' and they did. I talked to my friend who calmed me and made me see there was nothing i could change right now and to trust God.

Sometimes we just need to have faith (Heb 11:). It is not always possible to see the end of the tunnel from the beginning and there are times when we have to walk along has if we are blind folded and we feel we are not good enough and that we have failed. But God will lift us up and will send angels to carry us and to comfort us until we can see the light. Sometimes my days seem beset with trials and darkened but i know somewhere out there, there is the light. 

I am just one, i am just me and i am not perfected but loved of God, just as I AM.

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

deux chats dans la cuisine ...

I took my daughter Emily's advice and titled my blog like Indian naming ceremonies, I'm talking about American Indians here of cause.So now i'm off to do a bit of reading - one moment.

So this is what it says;

  • The American naming ceremony is considered a sacred event
  • The name is chosen by a designated Elder and isn't known to anyone else until the ceremony
  • They are based on nature
  • They were banned once by the American government
  • The name could be changed as the child grew into an adult, so the name they were known by when they were born may not be the same one when they are adults
  • Today naming ceremonies normally happen when a person is an adult and they just have the one and they also keep the name that's on their birth certificate
  • The recipient needs to requests a name from the designated Elder
  • The ceremony is long and it has never been written down so changes from tribe to tribe
  • Four guardians are appointed to represent, East, West, South, North
  • If you dishonour your name it can be taken off you

Now I didn't know that.

So what would i name my children;

  • Mike - Fast Running Bear
  • Grace - Rippling Brook or Gentle Waters
  • Emily - Sparkling Rainbow Lights
  • Bethany - Night Owl
As for me I shall leave that up to my children.

And for my title? I went into the kitchen this morning and there sat our two cats; Cookie Monster and Tinker Bell. The first one old, partly blind but getting on with life and the second a stray came in from the cold just before Christmas and just before my beautiful old cat, Lucy died in February this year. I don't know about naming ceremonies for the cats but they do tend to end up with names that have come from the heart.

Tinkerbell - balm for my heart
Lucy in her usual place - the bathroom sink

Cookie Monster - sitting in, on whatever she can find

Monday, 18 July 2011

New Title

I've been going to change my blog Title for sometime as my other one was too long and too difficult to find, even for me. I'm not a professional writer, one day i might write a book but it's not really in my plans, although other people keeping telling me I should. So most of the time i just jot down some ramdom thoughts and see where they lead. Although there are times when i ponder a while before starting or i will have read something or maybe i will just be inspired by life. Either way I just scribble a few words and i often think of it as a Journal.

Choosing a name for your blog is a daunting task. My three daughters have all come up with something short and snazzy and i just despaired. Then there are the ones that are professional at this blogging and do it as a job, i don't think I am one of those either, but you never know, i might be - one day!

I did try a theme for each day-thingy but that didn't work for me so i'm kinda scrapping that. Emily, number two daughter says i talk about God too much and I should talk about myself more, but God is my passion and i teach Sunday school every week, which i can assure my Bishop that i love doing. I also find when i add a comment to other people's blogs my prattling is more fluent and spontaneous, maybe i just think about my blog too much and should just get on with it.

So this is it; it's a journal, a few words on my life, my family and my passions; God, books, and photography, maybe even throw in a bit of family history too. - Emily's blog

Friday, 15 July 2011

...there is a blessing in this somewhere ...


I'm sitting at the kitchen table with the back door open to let the night out and the morning in. The sun is shining, the sky slightly cloudy and the air has a slight chill.

I have a big window in my kitchen and like all my windows it looks out onto more houses. Against my window a big-fat-bumble-bee continues to try and escape. I mean it must have come in the door so why has it got so confused and why can't it just go out the way it came? The window and the door are about 1meter apart its not even a great distance so why can't it see?

There have been many times in my life when i couldn't see the door standing open and would continue to hit my head against the window in the hope that that would become my escape, but sadly and usually i would just end up with an headache.

How many times does Jesus stand waiting with the door open so that we can escape. He showed us the way to live forever but yet we often continue to hit our heads against the windows of life. He counsels us to 'come unto me', 'be even as i am', 'be perfected in me.'

Now i'm not perfect, i think my children would agree and i often stand with my head pressed against the window moaning my loss and saying 'why me Lord? why now? now what am i going to do?
But then in that moment He sends his peace and although the way forward may not be any clearer i know that He will not leave me nor forsake me in my hour of need. Jesus is my Saviour, my Prophet, Priest and King and i know that He will show me the way out by showing me to the door.


Wednesday, 13 July 2011

You never know ...

Sixteen weeks ago i slipped on a tiny-teeny envelope on the stairs in my house and i slid down eights steps and landed with my left foot hitting the floor first and then my bum sitting on the bottom step, causing the whole force of the fall to hit my knee - hard. 

At first it was a bit stiff, a bit swollen, a bit sore. I did the cold compress, pain killers and hot water bottle routine but eight weeks after the fall my knee gave way whilst at work. The pain was so bad that i couldn't walk on it. However the following day i ended up at my GP's who signed me off sick and referred me to the physiotherapists, which i have yet to see.

Four weeks later my knee gives way again and i end up at the accident and emerency where i saw a really nice doctor who gave me a list of a diagnosis, damage to the lateral collateral ligament, miniscus tear, and maybe cartlidge damage. That list isn't good. He referred me on to the big-guns the orthopeadics

Yesterday i had finally earned enough points to see a surgeon but the news wasn't good. They can't repair it, they can't make it better the best they can hope for it to make my knee workable so i can walk on it. So now i need a scan and then i start physio next week. The reason they can't repair it is because i have arthritis and the dangers of the surgery are greater then the success. Although he did say i cant go swimming although i can ride a bicycle and should do so. Also no clinical work, so right now no work.

I am (trying) to read a book called Gilead by Marilyn Robinson and no its not another book review and one of her characters says the following, 'there is a blessing in this somewhere...' Right now it's a little difficult to see where but maybe in time it will come to light. 

My daughter Emily came with me yesterday and i know she was trying to brighten the mood and we got to talking about what we could do with crutches, other then the obvious and this is a few suggestion;

  • turn them upside down and use them a metal detector
  • digging to Australia (i really want to go to the beach and see the sea - on crutches - maybe not)
  • lightsaber - like in star wars
  • or just a boring old gun
  • rubbish picker-up-er
  • a oar, we just need the boat

This is what i have actually done; damaged at least two ligaments the medial collateral  and the anterial collateral and maybe more and maybe a tear in the miniscus, which because they can't repair because of the arthritis. 

The moral of this story - You never know ...

Sunday, 3 July 2011

Sunday Sunday

Today my lessson in Sunday school was about the Holy Ghost. The first question i asked was 'how would you explain the Holy Ghost to someone who had no idea?' The answers were slow in coming, like i was asking them about an unknown quantity not something they think about and maybe even talk about every day. Two answers were 'that he teaches us things,' and 'he gives us comfort'. Both good, correct answers but sometimes we need to search a little deeper to find out what our Heavenly Father is really telling us.

I said the Holy Ghost was like a comfortable blanket, a bar of chocolate and a good book. He gives us confort, feeds us and teaches us good things. My analogy may not have been the most enlightening but at least it proved a point and created a visual aid.
 In John 14:26 we read - 'But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your            rememberence, whatsoever I have said unto you'.

 3 points - brings comfort
             - teaches us all things
             - brings truth to our remembrance

In John 15:26 we are told that the Comforter ...'he shall testify of me:' The 'me' being Jesus Christ. So we are also told that the Holy Ghost will testify of the divinity of Jesus Christ. 

                              I also taught about the fact we can have the Holy Ghost to be with us 
always as long as we remain worthy; by taking upon us the name of Christ, to always remember Him and keep his commandments. The Gift of the Holy Ghost is something we are offered after we are baptised to have with us as our constant companion, but we have to chose to live in harmony with His teachings. 

It was interesting to note that we feel the absence of the Holy Ghost more then we feel its presence and that sometimes we take its presence as a 'done deal', like He is always going to be there. Also we should come to know how it feels to have the Holy Ghost with us even when we are going about our every day lives.

The Holy Ghost can;
- be our constant companion
- give us comfort
- bear witness to the divinity of Christ
- bring all truth to our remembrance
- protect us
- teach us truth
- help us and guide us in every day things, even the shopping.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Gratitude - Humilty

This week's lesson for me was in humilty. To me humilty means to be teachable and none of us know everything but we all know something. But sometimes we know the benefits of doing a certain thing the Lord as asked us to do but we still don't do it.

  • Malachi 3:8

    8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

    I attend a church where we follow this commandment and i do know that we are blessed by doing it, because i have been blessed in the past but yet when money gets tight and it really is at the moment it's usually the first thing i stop paying. However it plays on my conscience that i am not paying it and right now we really need those blessings that come when we obey God's law.

    Malachi 3:10

    10 Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
I paid a 10% tithe not a 5% or a 15% that's not what the Lord requires just last Sunday knowing full well that we do not have enough money to pay all the bills, and buy food for the rest of the month. On Wednesday evening my Home Teachers came and message was Tithing. I was asked did i know what the blessings of paying tithing were and i replied 'not right now'.

These are the blessings that have come in just one week from keeping just this one commandment of God. Did i suddenly become rich by winning the lottery, no i dont even play it. So here they are;

- a much needed bus ticket
- money for my girls
- dinner on Sunday
- my daughter was paid more in her salary therefore i recieved more board money
- free lunch
- food shopping that didn't seem to cost enough
- someone gave me £120
- having enough to fulfil our needs
- a beautiful morning
- a restful heart
- learning a forgotten lesson
- God loves ME

The Law of Tithing is not about the money it's about obedience and through obedience we are blessed. The Lord does not expect us to pay all that we have but when all that we is not enough then we have nothing to lose. But how much more blessed are we when we are not compelled to be humble but we do it first?

Friday, 1 July 2011

Family Friday

This is my son in pictures - i sneaked them off his facebook :) 

Michael James Smith 19 May 1987

Michael at aged 2

Mike's first love - football


Mike's 2nd love Christina - sorry but its true

The only cat that doesnt make him sneeze - snow in Canada
I really don't know, but i do know that as a small child he would do this often

Halloween Canadian style
I love you son. I can't wait to see you only 15 more sleeps. I always thank God that he gave me three daughters and only one son. You are an amazing young man and I am so very proud of you.