i moved

to here - http://januarytodecember.wordpress.com/  

from one who knows

26 Dec 1987 - 8 Dec 2009

At this time of year we are supposed to be celebrating but for some grief is their constant companion and lies heavy on their hearts. Take it from one who knows. But life goes on. There is a time when life and everything in it will feel like it's rushing at tremendous speed and you, well you are just trying to stand upright and breath, just breath.

There is a man who wrote a book because his daughter died, his name is Donald M Murray and the book is the Lively Shadow. There is one passage that as remained with me, although i don't remember when i read now, but it goes something like this ...'I knew if i swung my legs over the side of the bed the rest of me would follow...' If all you can do this Christmas is swing your legs over the side of the bed then keep doing it and know that you are not alone. 

There are many that have walked this path before you and there are many that will follow you. Know this that God is giving you special tools to help those that come after you and when you are ready he will provide a way for you to use them to serve others. And when the burden seems to heavy to carry one more moment cry unto Him and he will send angels to help carry it for you. Let them in, let them help, for one day you will be someone else's angel.

All must die, all must return home to Him who sent us here, to Him who loves each and everyone of us but for those who are left behind sometimes it is just too soon. 

Danielle would be the first one to help anyone, yes anyone she saw in need and the last to leave but God called her home so we could learn the lesson she didn't need to learn. I hear whispers in my heart and in my head 'I am okay' and 'live you life with heart and hands wide open.' I know she will continue to serve has she did here, it was her way but we all miss you, i miss you and the tears still come unbidden and unstoppable for all i know to be true.

For all those that mourn this Christmas know that death is not the end.

day seven

Sorry no post yesterday as my daughter decided to try ice skating on black ice whilst walking down her street and tried to break her leg but she didn't she did something the Doctor called a David Beckham, she twisted the ligaments in her ankle. Although she claims to be independent and doesn't need me the call went something like 'mum, it's ok - i'm crying cos im in pain but it's ok cos im in an ambulance - they taking me to BRI (local A and E). I wasn't even out of bed so i dressed as quickly as i could and jumped in a taxi.

The most amazing thing of the whole morning was that when i opened my front door there was no ice on my front steps or the publice pavement in front of my house although i could clearly see it both up and down the street. I have no idea how it came to be so but i'm very grateful that it was. I am also very thankful to the all the staff at the hospital who helped to take care of my daughter but especially the lady who was cleaning the floors but helped to manouver the wheelchair my daughter was in into see the Doctor. It wasn't her job but she did it anyway. Also a big thank you for my friend who came to rescue us from the hospital once we were ready to leave.

My Gift for you today is Gratitude.

five things

I would like to put the record straight and point out that the 12 days of Christmas don’t actually start until the 24^th December and they finish on the 6^th January. So any gift given now would be one extra to any you may get during the 12 days.

So today is the 5^th December and I would like to give you five special gifts;

-          To sing out loud

-          To dance till you’re dizzy

-          To open your heart

-          To hold out your hands

-          To know you are a child of God

‘Be still and know that I am God...’ Psalms 46:10

4 calling birds

... or maybe just a few more, enjoy.

day three ...

No, not three french hens although i did think about it but couldn't come up with a fixed idea. So instead today i will give you three lady writers - authors; Alice Ozma, The Reading Promise, Amy Tan, The Bonesetter's Daughter and Sarah Winman, When God was a rabbit.

I have written a post about Alice Ozma already this year so this is just a little recap. It's autobiographical and based upon a reading challenge she began with her Father when she was 9 years old and continued until the very day she left home for college at 18. The challenge was this, they would read for at least 10 minutes a day, no matter what and she shares some of the challenges they faced and the way they overcame them, which were very amusing. She lists all the books they read over the years at the back of the book, which is a good thing so you don't have to keep going backwards and forwards through the book to find them. It did get me to read 'The Wizard of Oz' by L. Frank Blume which was very different film but i enjoyed it immensely and also Matilda by Roald Dahl which because i have previously watched the film was a bit of a disappointment. 

The second book 'The Bonesetter's Daughter' by Amy Tan was a book group read but also one of those books i was meaning to read but then something else always, yes always got in the way. It is beautifully written and heart breaking in places and the pages just carry you along through the life's of mother and then daughter and then back to the mother. It shows how we often have little or nor control over many of the things that happen in our life and we have only two choices to continue to live or to let go and die. So although it begins in modern America it takes you to a very different place and time. I keep meaning to read some of the others books Amy Tan has written but i don't think i want to spoil the magic.

The last book 'When God was a Rabbit' by Sarah Winman is another one of the books that i have been meaning to read all year. I have been trying not to buy books due to the lack of funds and however no matter how many times i tried to retrieve this book from the library i was unable to do so and in the end it was on offer for next to nothing and so i allowed myself a treat. It wasn't what i was expecting, yes there was a rabbit and he was called God but mainly it's about love in all its guises. From the simple love of child to pet and that of brother and sister to the more complicated love of adults and the letting go we have to do when someone dies and the heartbreak that loving someone always seems to cause us. But love is always worth it.

So today i give you the Gift of Reading.

on the 2nd day

'On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree.' or so the song goes.

Okay i'm not going to give you two turtle doves but a dove has always been a symbol of peace and so my gift today is simple - Peace.

Jesus Christ promised us that he would leave us his peace after he ascended into heaven - 'Peace I leave with you, my peace i give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid' (John 14:27 KJB)

Often we look for peace in worldly things such as wealth and pocessions but this is not the peace promised. The peace promised is that no matter what is happening in our lives we are never alone, not forsaken, not forgotten and as we struggle with life's cares, as we often do He will bend down and lift us up, send angels to comfort us and balm to heal our broken hearts.

My second Gift to you is Peace.